Thanks for the quick reply.

It’s the tone in which she claimed to be too busy which implied she was never planning on making it and that I had imposed on her for daring to ask. I’ve learnt (from bitter personal experience and external research) that if someone really wanted to meet up for a date but couldn’t make it, they would suggest another time. If they claim to be ‘too busy’ and express it in a tone which implies anger that you even asked, then it means they didn’t want to be up front for the reasons that you wrote about. Surely women have been treated the same way by men and only realized they were being played too late?

She claimed (3 years later) that she was ‘caught off guard’ by me asking her out and apologized for not being more honest. (Since I can’t trust her anymore, her contrition is suspect). Which then makes me ask myself, did she think I was too much of a wuss to ask her out?

Although I’m upset about what she did — it still eats me like stomach acid while the day she shamed me kept me awake for the next three consecutive nights - I actually blame myself a lot more for not being worthy of her time or honesty. If I were to accept the ‘it’s not about you’ placebo, that would make me an even bigger chicken because that would be shirking responsibility for my own failings.

TLDR — I don’t consider her a bitch because I blame myself a lot more for even asking her out.