Whenever a deliriously attractive woman is revealed to be taken, I don’t think of their men as ‘bad boys’ or ‘jerks’.

Instead, I imagine them to be heroic warriors of justice who got their women through always doing the right thing, never making dumbass mistakes, financially and professionally progressive and generally setting standards I can’t match up to. My overriding question is ‘How to become more like them?’ — even if I haven’t met them before.